8mm Forum: Time for change

This is topic Time for change in forum General Yak at 8mm Forum.

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Posted by Martin Jones (Member # 1163) on May 22, 2015, 03:25 AM:

Fellow Members.......Just over 6 weeks ago I lost my wife and companion of, over 55 years and, as a result, I have had to make decisions as to how to restructure my life at the age of 78. First among those decisions is to leave the rather large house that we bought and renovated 10 years ago to provide a retirement home for us both and her 99year old father. Now both of them are gone and I rattle around like a stone in a very large tin can.
My intention is to fit in some travelling while I can, once I have found myself somewhere smaller and more manageable and convenient to live...... which means that I have to seriously de-clutter both my life and this house from the accumulations of countless years.
So I have reluctantly decided to abandon my lifelong interest in Cine, except for my family records and my obligations to other family members in the outstanding transfer work of their Cine and Tape records, ad turn my attention to my other passion, Stereoscopy.
I shall from time to time be offering items of interest on here, including my Eumig 824 HQS and my Elmo ST600 (with my own stereo playback conversion), but if, in the meantime, there are any specific requirements that anyone has that I may be able to fill from my (very) large “accumulation” of all things Cine, please feel free to email or PM me.

Martin

Posted by Maurice Leakey (Member # 916) on May 22, 2015, 04:06 AM:

Martin
The important thing at this very sad time for you is to keep as active as you can.
I now live alone since my divorce, my ex-wife has had a stroke and now also suffers dementia, she is being looked after in a specialised home in Somerset.
I am 80 and had to downscale when I moved to a smaller home in North Bristol, however, downscaling didn't mean getting rid of anything cine.
The house is full of various gauges and probably now approaching 2000 films. It keeps me going, tracking down elusive films and projectors is a daily occurrence.
As you know, I have turned to 9.5 sound, and already have a Vox, two Sons, a Buckingham and a French converted Eiki Slimline SNT-3.
I enjoy many cruises where you can visit different places each day, the "hotel" moves in the night!
Keep active.

(Sent you a PM.)

[ May 22, 2015, 05:24 AM: Message edited by: Maurice Leakey ]

Posted by Dave Groves (Member # 4685) on May 22, 2015, 11:17 AM:

Martin, I can't begin to imagine the sense of loss you are experiencing. The house must seem very empty and it's a case of going back to the life of a batchelor, the only difference being that you know what having a partner is like. I do wonder at the wisdom of getting rid of your lifelong cine hobby unless room forbids it's possibility or age makes it's demands too much. Enjoy what you've always enjoyed and don't be too hasty in making any decision. Very best wishes for what ever you decide to do.

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on May 22, 2015, 04:09 PM:

A very sad tale indeed Martin.
Not for one second, can I even begin to comprehend the void you must be experiencing from a relationship and bond spanning all of those years together.

I offer my sincere condolences to you and your family during this very sad time. God Bless.

Posted by David Roberts (Member # 197) on May 23, 2015, 04:13 AM:

very sorry for your loss Martin.
when my marriage ended 8 years ago,i sold all my cine stuff,many great films and projectors,and moved into a much smaller house.
since then I have moved again into a slightly bigger house,with a spare room. so for the last 3 years ive been replacing as many films as I can find and afford.
I agree with the others,think very long and hard before you dispose of your cine.
best regards.

Posted by David Ollerearnshaw (Member # 3296) on May 23, 2015, 09:06 AM:

My best wishes with sadness to you. To lose your compainion is heart breaking.

I'm it the troes of a messy divorce and nasty too. I'm heartbroken.

Take care of your self Good luck

Posted by Tom Photiou (Member # 130) on May 23, 2015, 11:34 AM:

Martin, I am very sorry and sad for your loss. It must be very difficult for you at this time.

Posted by Ken Finch (Member # 2768) on May 23, 2015, 01:12 PM:

Martin, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. I am myself in my 81st year and am conscious of the amount of gear I have acquired over the years which at my demise will be of little interest to my family. I am now gradually disposing of some of the gear which I will never use again. However it is very important that you continue to do the things that you enjoy and do not make any hasty decisions. I understand how you must be feeling at the moment as I lost my first wife many years ago leaving me with a daughter aged 16 and son aged 6. I was fortunate to be able to begin a new life again after a year or so. All the very best, Ken Finch.

Posted by Osi Osgood (Member # 424) on May 23, 2015, 01:53 PM:

Martin ...

I have only been married for nearly 10 years, (and it seems like only a few days, lovely), but even in this short of time, I couldn't imagine being without my sweetheart, so, my best wishes for you in this time of you're life. Know that you'll always have a bevvy of friends here, and the best to you in you're future travels.

If you are ever in the vicinity of Mountain Home Idaho, please call on us Osgoods, and with our extra room, we'll be happy to treat you to a nice night of super 8, and awesome omelettes, (I LUV making omelettes!).

All the best to you ...

sincerely

Osi Osgood

Posted by Clay Smith (Member # 4122) on May 23, 2015, 02:41 PM:

Just wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss Martin.

Posted by Mathew James (Member # 4581) on May 23, 2015, 09:32 PM:

This is one of my greatest fears...and I share the sentiments of Osi in regards to our better half's.
I love my wife dearly...we just this weekend celebrated our 20th anniversary in Niagara Falls. I can't imagine a day without her and feel for all you who have lost your love's already.....
sniff.... So sorry Martin!
I hope this all works out for everyone and my sincere regards and condolences!
ps: Wow- some of you guys are 75+. All I can say is RESPECT! It is amazing to see the older ones enjoying this hobby and also thinking of passing it on to others to enjoy as well.
Cheers,
Matt

Posted by Rob Young. (Member # 131) on May 24, 2015, 05:56 AM:

Martin, my deepest sympathy. Take care mate.

Posted by Terry Sills (Member # 3309) on May 24, 2015, 07:35 AM:

So sorry to hear of your loss Martin, very distressing for you at this time, but look at the response from a wealth of friends on this forum - most of whom you've probably never met - but all rallying round in your hour of need. I have to agree with Maurice. Don't give it all up just yet and after recouperation, you might think differently. It would be very sad to lose your expertise and talent in this hobby.
Very best wishes to you
Terry

Posted by Martin Jones (Member # 1163) on May 24, 2015, 09:48 AM:

I am hugely grateful for the many messages of sympathy and support posted on this thread.... it is comforting to know that so many of you out there feel the way that you do.
Please don't think that the choices I've made towards “restructuring my life” are knee-jerk reactions to the circumstances I find myself in, rather they are considered acts based on 78 years of making “life changing” decisions about new directions my family needed to go in in order to improve our quality of life. Of course, some of them turned out, with the benefit of hindsight, to be wrong! We all do wrong decisions. But for some decisions there are clear pointers.

From the day we visited the doctor to the day my wife died first had 7 months of knowing that the outcome could be bad. Despite the amazing efforts of our inspirational Regional NHS hospital (I will NEVER accept criticism of our UK National Health Service) we then had a further 7 months of certainty as to the inevitable outcome. That gave both of us time to accept and comprehend what was happening and to discuss my options for the future. Making decisions with FORESIGHT is much easier..... and less likely to be catastrophically wrong!! If they turn out to be wrong, there is now only one person affected..... and I will deal with it!

As to my cine interests, it's the time consuming and physically demanding parts I am abandoning... my interest in the technical side. Experimentation and renovation were fine in younger days, but are now too demanding if I am going to relocate and effectively start life over again. So lots of bits and pieces, projectors, cameras, reels, audio etc.... but no films as (HORROR OF HORRORS) I never was a collector. Those of you who noticed in a recent thread that I suddenly bought a high end Panasonic projector will realise that wherever I end up there will be a viewing room (as near a Cinema as possible) where I can relax with my carefully selected 1000 odd DVD and Blu-ray collection of the classic films from my lifetime, starting back in the 30s. And I will continue my presence on this Forum: how can one abandon completely the special relationship members enjoy?

Best Regards,

Martin

[ May 26, 2015, 05:57 AM: Message edited by: Martin Jones ]

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on May 24, 2015, 09:56 AM:

Best of luck then Martin for your future. I know you will love using your new Panasonic. They are simply fantastic and I doubt you will ever look back in the mindset you now have. [Smile]

Posted by Martin Jones (Member # 1163) on October 24, 2015, 05:26 AM:

I am now officially "homeless" but have been saved from living in a cardboard box under a bridge over the River Exe by my daughter, who has taken pity on me and allowed me to doss down in her house while my house purchase goes through.
Mark you, I am having to pay the price by clearing up all the DIY jobs that have been waiting to be done (some going back 5 years!)..... but they say there is no peace for the wicked.
Seriously though, I have so much help from so many people over the last six months that the adjustment to a new way of life has been so much easier than I thought it would be, and I have more than somewhat changed my previous jaded views on the rest of the world in general. There is an ever-widening light at the end of the tunnel and I hope to be back in the open very soon.

Posted by Paul Barker (Member # 4318) on October 24, 2015, 08:36 AM:

Martin. an obviously traumatic time you have had. time is indeed the healer here. i wonder, even still at this early stage, how are your thoughts now re your hobbies.as these could be of great help to you. now and in the future. the very best of luck to you.

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on October 24, 2015, 09:33 AM:

I echo those fine sentiments to you Martin from Paul.
Stay courageous sir through these very trying times.

Good to see that despite experiencing some terribly traumatic times in your life, it is beginning to restore your faith in humanity if nothing else.

Try and stay optimistic wherever you can Martin,if at all possible.

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