8mm Forum: Mum

This is topic Mum in forum General Yak at 8mm Forum.

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Posted by Dominique De Bast (Member # 3798) on January 13, 2017, 05:37 PM:

As some members already know through PMs, my mum died in December, the reason why I haven't posted for a while. Although it happened over a month ago, I have the feeling I just got this terrible new a few days ago. It is the worse thing that could happen and I still don't really realize. I wanted that my first 2017 was a thought for my lost mum and I wanted to put a picture, the last one I tooked with my mobile phone (quality is not great as it is an enlargement) on this forum where I like to come. Thanks for tour understanding.

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on January 13, 2017, 05:53 PM:

Dominique my dear dear friend, you have our deepest sympathies from all of your collecting pals here.

I must admit, I did think it a little odd we haven't seen you around much lately, but of course, this awful news explains everything!

Our thoughts are truly with you through these coming weeks and months as you somehow attempt to come to terms with your devastating loss and cine films right now, I'm sure will be the very last thing on your mind.

It is a pity I didn't have your details to hand earlier today as I was in Brussels earlier today with a few hours to kill, and it would have been superb to have met up with you for a drink and a chat as well as offering my sincerest condolences to you in person.

God bless Dominique, may time begin very very slowly,to heal your heavy heart at this sad time.
One day at a time Dom, that's all I can say mate. [Frown]

Posted by Alan Rik (Member # 73) on January 13, 2017, 06:37 PM:

Condolences to you and your family. Sorry to hear about the sad news.

Posted by Mathew James (Member # 4581) on January 13, 2017, 06:46 PM:

Dominique, I am so sorry to hear this.
I was wondering where you have been as i didn't see you post for awhile. My huge condolences!
Please know we are thinking of you!

Posted by Steve Klare (Member # 12) on January 13, 2017, 08:13 PM:

Dominique,

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through this loss. Our parents stand very large in our lives and it's tough to consider life in a world without them.

Posted by Graham Ritchie (Member # 559) on January 13, 2017, 08:17 PM:

So sorry to hear that Dominique....take care.

Posted by James N. Savage 3 (Member # 83) on January 13, 2017, 09:00 PM:

So very sorry to hear of your loss Dominique [Frown]

Posted by Clinton Hunt (Member # 2072) on January 13, 2017, 11:08 PM:

I too am sorry to hear about your loss Dominique.
It's nearly 2 years since my mum died and it's still sad,I never realised what it was like until it happened to me.
It sort of gets better but it takes a while,but even now it saddens me.
Mums are the best so the loss is huge.
Take care and I think that talking about it helps.
Regards from a fellow collector in New Zealand.

Posted by Janice Glesser (Member # 2758) on January 14, 2017, 12:57 AM:

My condolences Dominique. As much as you feel the loss every day, take solace that your mum felt blessed to have such a wonderful son and was very proud of you. That's a bond that can't be broken even after her passing. I wish you the best.

Posted by Dominique De Bast (Member # 3798) on January 14, 2017, 02:34 AM:

Thank you for all these sweet comments. Whatever happens now, it will never be the same as before. I lost other beloved ones but it has nothing to do with the fact of loosing a mum. Andrew, I would have been happy to see you in Brussels. Maybe another time. "Devasting" is the right word...

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on January 14, 2017, 06:20 AM:

Godspeed Dom. [Frown]

Posted by David Roberts (Member # 197) on January 14, 2017, 07:00 AM:

I would like to also offer my condolences Dominique.

Posted by Ken Finch (Member # 2768) on January 14, 2017, 08:14 AM:

My very sincere condolences to you Dominique. Very sorry to hear of your sad news. Ken Finch.

Posted by Steve Klare (Member # 12) on January 14, 2017, 08:30 AM:

When my Dad died I spent a lot of time debating the rights and wrongs of it. It was the early end of a good life and there is so much he would miss, but by the same token he was suffering and I believe he has finally found all happiness and peace.

Whether it is right or it is wrong, I came to understand that it simply IS, and I'd need to accept it for that reason.

-at the end of the day, it's the only choice we have.

Posted by Terry Sills (Member # 3309) on January 14, 2017, 09:11 AM:

Very sad Dom. Like Clinton my mum died 2 years ago and at the time it was a very low point in my life, but now I look back with some wonderful happy memories as I'm sure you will do in time.
God bless you and yours.

Posted by David Watson (Member # 3614) on January 14, 2017, 10:06 AM:

Just read your post Dom. so sorry to hear of the loss of your dear Mum
one of the hardest things to bear in life, it may not seem like it at the moment, but things will get better for you and remember your mum would only want the best for your future..

My Condolences
DAVE....

Posted by Mark Mander (Member # 340) on January 14, 2017, 11:00 AM:

Really sorry to hear this sad news too Dom, it's never a nice time when someone passes away let alone a parent but you will have your memories and that will keep you going, it's never the same but things will slowly get better for you, take care, Mark

Posted by Mark Todd (Member # 96) on January 14, 2017, 11:19 AM:

Very sad and so sorry.

All take care.

Best Mark.

Posted by Rob Young. (Member # 131) on January 14, 2017, 11:55 AM:

So sorry to hear this Dom. I can't even begin to imagine how you must feel.

It's funny isn't it our little community here, whilst many of us have never met each other we all feel such a common bond.

You take care my friend and remember the good times.

Posted by Antonio Costa Mota (Member # 221) on January 14, 2017, 01:12 PM:

Very sad news Dominique.My sincere condolences to you.

Posted by Tom Spielman (Member # 5352) on January 14, 2017, 02:54 PM:

Very sorry Dominique. I lost my mother a few years ago and I still miss her. But over time remembering her has started to bring more smiles than sadness.

I still see her in my kids, brothers, niece and nephew. And for that matter when I look in the mirror. As my wife has reminded me many times, I have her eyes.

You're a fine man from what I can tell. Your mother did well.

Posted by Brian Fretwell (Member # 4302) on January 14, 2017, 04:36 PM:

Very sad and always a shock, even if you were expecting it as it was with my Mum. That was over 10 years ago and I still miss her.

Best wishes to you.

Posted by Douglas Meltzer (Member # 28) on January 14, 2017, 06:51 PM:

Dominique,

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My condolences and best wishes to you and your family.

Doug

Posted by Bill Phelps (Member # 1431) on January 14, 2017, 06:59 PM:

Sorry to hear about your mother Dom, I hope your doing ok.

Bill

Posted by Dominique De Bast (Member # 3798) on January 14, 2017, 08:21 PM:

Thanks again for all these supportive messages.

Posted by Adrian Winchester (Member # 248) on January 15, 2017, 12:15 AM:

Sincere condolences - I'm sure all will agree that losing a Mum at any stage in life is a terrible loss. If you feel she reached a good age, hopefully that will be some comfort in future.

Posted by Paul Barker (Member # 4318) on January 15, 2017, 03:06 AM:

so sorry to hear. time is the healer. my best wishes to you.

Posted by Joe Taffis (Member # 4) on January 15, 2017, 05:50 AM:

My sympathy Dominique...

Posted by Dave Groves (Member # 4685) on January 15, 2017, 07:40 AM:

I lost my Mom when I was 18, just at an age when I was beginning to appreciate her as an adult. You will no doubt have many memories that will bring comfort and help, especially in these early days. I join with all the others in sending my thoughts and best wishes

Posted by Tom Photiou (Member # 130) on January 15, 2017, 09:23 AM:

Condolences to you and your family. Very sorry to hear of your sad news.
Best wishes,
Tom & Family.

Posted by Mike Newell (Member # 23) on January 15, 2017, 09:53 AM:

Dominque sorry to her about your Mum. Deepest condolences to you and your family and hope you find peace and comfort in the days to come.

Mike

Posted by Melvin England (Member # 5270) on January 15, 2017, 11:14 AM:

Hello Dominique,I have been out of town the last few days away from my computer, so this is the first opportunity for me to offer my condolences to you.

I lost my father last March and know what you are going through. Although I am over nine months further away from his passing, one still grieves. Maybe not always on the surface, but deep down.You may find that you can talk about your mum to people in a general sort of way without feeling too emotional, then a little later mention a specific memory...then the emotion comes back.

I wanted to be the first one to say to you that "time" is a wonderful healer. Paul beat me to it. I can only assure you, it does get a little easier...day...by...day...by...day. The grief does start to very slowly fade....as does the pain.Whether it disappears I have yet to find out. One thing that NEVER fades....the memories.

.

Posted by Andrew Woodcock (Member # 3260) on January 15, 2017, 11:31 AM:

My wife lost her Mum last Autumn. Last night she was inconsolable due to the pain still, and being apart for almost a week for the first time in our married life.

It is indeed, as Melvin and Paul so correctly point out, a case of one day at a time.

Some days it feels like your world is an empty one and despair is never too far away in the early months.

The pain you and her, and countless others, are so obviously feeling, is merely a barometer of the impression left by these wonderful people exiting our time here on earth. It is to their credit that they leave such a monumental void.
Good friends, close relatives and partners who genuinely and truly care for your welfare are the key.

Surround yourself as much as is ever practically possible, with all of these people and you won't go far wrong.

We are all here for you Dominique, by PM or whatever means, if you need to chat mate.

Our hearts go out to you my friend.

Posted by Jean-Marc Toussaint (Member # 270) on January 16, 2017, 06:03 AM:

Sorry for your loss, my friend.

Posted by Paul Suchy (Member # 80) on January 16, 2017, 08:09 AM:

Take strength from good thoughts of your mum.

Posted by Michael Lattavo (Member # 4280) on January 16, 2017, 08:23 AM:

Very sorry to hear of your loss, my condolences to you and your family.

Posted by Joe Balitzki (Member # 438) on January 17, 2017, 07:36 PM:

Dearest Dominique I am sorry to hear of your loss. I am the sole caregiver of my 98 year old Mother and she is in the early stages of dementia which to me is like a very slow death. You have your memories of all the good times to draw upon. The pain will diminish in time but since everyone is different there is no telling how it will go. I am glad that you were there for her and we both know now why there is a Mother's Day. Mothers are very special. I hope she enjoyed your film collection with you at times. Feel free to PM me if you ever feel the need to. (,,,)BearHug(,,,)

Posted by David Hardy (Member # 4628) on January 18, 2017, 09:32 AM:

So sorry to read that your mother has passed away.

Its always a great blow when you lose one of your parents
no matter at what age they or you are.

My sympathy to you and your family Dom.

Posted by Dominique De Bast (Member # 3798) on January 18, 2017, 12:13 PM:

In addition to the sweet comments on this forum, I'm still receiving testimonies from people who lost their mum also. Reactions vary a lot from one person to another, although it is hard for most. Two days ago, I was told by a cine enthusiast that after 17 years of her death, he could still not watch home movies in which his mum was appearing. He had tears in his eyes saying that. Needless to say I could not watch home movies with my mum neither. There are activities and things that I completely stopped since a month and other I am keeping on, probably thing I used to to younger. Film is among what I still care for. I often said that I would put some order in my material and films "one day". Well, time is flying and "one day" may mean "never" as it is never the good time. I decided to spend some time and to focus on that at the moment. Respooling and cleaning films is what I have been doing mainly recently, though I watched some films, too. For obvious reasons, I'm not in the mood to post "reviews" in the relevant sections. I keep on reading the forum and I keep some "good news" (like the return of the Ektachrome) in a piece of my mind for when (or if ?) "I will be able to appreciate it". I know I already thank those who kindly posted supporting words here but I want to to do it again.

Posted by Douglas Warren (Member # 1047) on January 18, 2017, 12:52 PM:

My condolences regarding your loss Dom. I lost my parents many years ago (Mom i 1991, Dad in 1993.)As long as you have your memories of her, she will always be with you in your heart.

Posted by David Hardy (Member # 4628) on January 18, 2017, 03:16 PM:

Dominique I can relate to what you say here about the Home Movies.

Both my parents have passed away too.
My mother in 2001 aged 69 and my father in 2004 aged 72.
I have some Super 8mm footage of them but have not yet watched it
again.
I am now 63 myself so I had better do it soon I think.

Take care.

Posted by Ali Hipperson (Member # 5643) on January 19, 2017, 03:49 AM:

Dear Dominique - my sincere condolences at your sad loss and my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this very difficult time.

I haven't been contributing to the forum over the last number of weeks as I am the main carer for my own mum (who has reached the grand old age of 89) and I am in the process of moving accommodation so that I can be closer to her and provide her with the increasing amount of support she now needs.

Reading all the timely and touching posts regarding the loss of your mother - I realise how lucky I am to still have both my parents alive when almost everyone I know has already lost at least one, if not both, of their parents.

I sincerely hope the pain you feel now eases in time Dom and in the meantime please accept whatever support you need to help you through this most difficult of times.

God Bless.

Ali.

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