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Author
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Topic: Elmo Captured at last.....
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Keith Ashfield
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 997
From: U.K.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted March 08, 2008 04:30 PM
Greetings Dear Fellow Collectors.
It is with great joy that I report,following our Safari into the darkest wilds of Northamptonshire,the Memsahib and I have returned with that rare specimen,the "Lesser Bladed Elmo Projectoris GS1200".Its capture took place in that county where no sensible man, let alone woman, would dare to venture,a dark and mysterious county called Bedfordshire.
Our stout tracker and mahout,Marko Mohander,made the creatures’ capture.What a splendid fellow he is and his English is remarkable,considering he lives in Bedfordshire.He also captured for us, a useful little tyke called “Pedros Synchus”.This little creature,Marko tells me, is responsible for keeping the sounds uttered by the “Projectoris” under control.This may be very useful,where upon,our latest acquisition is called upon to perform,in tune,with other creatures of a similar nature.
We have placed our new Elmo in a quarantine cage where it will be examined for its eating and behavioural manners and,of course,to ascertain its gender.I do hope it’s a male,as I already have a female Tri Bladed Elmo of the species.I know this to be true, because it is prone to the occasional “sound flutter” that occurs only with females.
Upon initial inspection,the new beastie appears to be quieter than our original specimen, and a lot brighter too. We will,in the next few days, be subjecting the new beastie to a rigorous diet of Super 8 film, which our redoubtable tracker and new friend, Marko, assures me, is around 1200 feet per platter. As long as it does not “chew before it swallows”,as some of our more common all-garden Projectoris tend to do,I will be most happy.
I will of course be registering my “mating pair” of Elmos with the R.S.P.C.C.E. (Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Cine Equipment), so that their “offspring” – should there be one, will be noted as the first Projectoris GS1200, bred in captivity.
It was with sad regret we left our new found friend, Marko, on the boundary of that dangerous territory, as he crossed the border, suitably rewarded, knowing that his “capture” would be looked after with great love and care.
He returned to his 3 wives, 23 children, 2 dogs, 4 cats and an Austin 1100, with a tear in his eye and a pair of very cold hands. This was due to us "yakking" on the car park for an hour, about our wonderful hobby, the “great deeds and doings” of Mr Elmo and all things, film related.
A vow was made, to meet up in May, with like-minded fellows, at a place called Ealing, beneath the Town Hall bell, where that Wise Old Owl, Wilton, aided by his Sorcerers Apprentice, Clancy, will once more work their magic. Please feel free to join us and partake of a parlay at lunchtime. Until then, I bid you farewell, as my new GS1200 Projectoris is issuing forth it's call - "Feed Me!!" so often immitated by other creatures kept in little horror shops. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
[ March 14, 2008, 07:11 AM: Message edited by: Keith Ashfield ]
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"We'll find 'em in the end, I promise you. We'll find 'em. Just as sure as a turnin' of the earth".
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Keith Ashfield
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 997
From: U.K.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted March 09, 2008 04:03 AM
Well dear boys, morning has come and having had a restful nights sleep I have given my new Elmo Projectoris it’s first meal (I didn’t want it to make a mess in the lounge, overnight). It has just sweetly wetted its appetite on a tasty little morsel found in the “Food” cupboard - a trailer print of “Zulu”.
It was a joy to see that little beastie enjoying its meal, and with such great “table manners”. It devoured each frame with such grace and quietness; it really was a pleasure to behold.
Having started to win over its confidence, I think that it will not be long before we can increase the diet to a full feature film. ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
By the way, it is definitely a male machine. You can tell this because its behaviour is impeccable and of course it knows when to shut up. I will have to persuade its “kennel mate” to share the scope bracket until such time as I can purchase or fabricate one for its own personal use.
The Memsahib has suggested that it may not be wise to allow the two GS1200s to mate, as there are already too many creatures in the menagerie as it is. (2 x GS1200s, 1 x ST1200, 1 x Agfa LS Sonnector, 1 x Kodak Brownie Std 8 and the “black sheep” of the collection – the Optoma DL Projector).
My suggestion of “swapping” the current storage facility, with the large bedroom was treated with a hefty smack on the head and a loss of “Tiffin” for the next seven days. This is a pity really, as from the bedroom, (via a hole in the wall, which she will not let me make), the creatures could gain access to the “exercise yard” where they could happily display their wonderful ability to emit colour and sound, to a whole new audience.
I have tried to explain to the Memsahib that, in the interest of conservation, these creatures must be allowed to perform to the best of their ability and it is a sacrilege not to do so. After another smack on the head, I beat a hasty retreat, to lick my wounds and comfort my, somewhat dejected, pets in the spare room. I explained that she is a very good woman really, but she doesn’t fully understand. It may be a bedroom to her, but with the addition of a small hole in the wall (which could be covered by a picture frame), it could be a projection box, yea, a display facility, for these most timid of creatures, whose only purpose in life, is to give enjoyment to the masses.
Having enlightened and hopefully entertained you but not burdened you, I must now leave you. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
I have been asked to take this rather nasty Vacuum creature for a walk around the bungalow. It’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it! ![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
PS Jim, does this mean that I have the only "Pedros Synchus" in captivity. I may be able to use this useful fact on the Memsahib to “curry” favour.
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"We'll find 'em in the end, I promise you. We'll find 'em. Just as sure as a turnin' of the earth".
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