8mm Forum: Jokes

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Topic: Jokes

Gary Constantine
Junior
Posts: 17
From: Nottingham
Registered: Nov 2006

posted March 30, 2007 05:12 AM

What is the capital of England? E. Ha Ha Haaaa

A man walked into a bar. Ouch. Ha Ha Haaaa

May you laugh as much with these funnies as I did. Happy Easter.

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Chip Gelmini
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1733
From: Brooksville, FL
Registered: Jun 2003

posted March 30, 2007 06:27 PM

Did you hear about the blind skunk that fell in love with a fart?

[Big Grin]

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Chip Gelmini
Phenomenal Film Handler

Posts: 1733
From: Brooksville, FL
Registered: Jun 2003

posted March 31, 2007 07:14 PM

How did Helen Keller burn her fingers?
Tried to read the waffle iron. [Big Grin]

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Craig Hamilton
Jedi Master Film Handler

Posts: 501
From: Luton
Registered: Sep 2004

posted March 31, 2007 07:37 PM

A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg, so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem.
.
A few days later he receives a parcel with a note:
.
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit.
The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a Pirate.
.
The man thinks this is terrible because they have just emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint.
.
A week passes and he received another parcel and note:
.
Dear Sir,
Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find enclosed a monk's habit.
The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part.
.
The man is really furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head.
.
So he writes a really rude letter of complaint.
.
A few days later he gets a very small parcel from the company with the accompanying letter:
.
Dear Sir,
Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup.
Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple.

Craig

--------------------
I dream of becoming a dealer!!!!!!
Is Perry's Movies for Sale.

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Brad Miller
Administrator

Posts: 525
From: Dallas, TX, USA
Registered: Jun 2003

posted April 01, 2007 10:14 PM

Here is about 25,000 jokes! [Eek!]

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Lars Pettersson
Master Film Handler

Posts: 282
From: Stockholm, Sweden
Registered: Jan 2007

posted April 01, 2007 11:49 PM

A guy is walking on a beach in California when he comes across a bottle in the sand. He takes the cork out of the bottle, and suddenly out comes a genie and says "you can make a wish, and whatever you wish I will make come true!"
The guy thinks for a minute then says "I´d like a freeway on a bridge from California to Hawaii, that way I could go to Hawaii whenever I felt like it." The genie goes "are you nuts? Can you imagine the engineering problems?!?!!"
So the guy thinks for a few more minutes then says "then I´d like to be able to understand how women think, why they say the things they do, why they act the way they do." The genie goes "how many lanes do you want on that freeway?"

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Tom Photiou
Film God

Posts: 4837
From: Plymouth U.K
Registered: Dec 2003

posted April 02, 2007 03:21 PM

Bloke walks into a pub, as he waits for his pint a voice says "you look preety good today mate",
He looks down and the peanuts in the dish say, "you sir, your looking good today", looking bedazzeled he picks up his drink and walks over to the fruit machine, puts his pint on the top and fruit machine machine says,
"get your drink off me & F*** off, NOW"
He goes back to the bar and complains to landlord, he says,
"I come in here for a quite drink and ive got your peanuts telling me i look good and your fruit machine telling me to FO, what is going on"?
Barman explains, "ahh, you see Sir the peanuts are complimentry and the fruit machine's out of order" [Big Grin]

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Alan Paterson
Film Handler

Posts: 70
From: Hants, UK
Registered: Aug 2006

posted April 22, 2007 10:48 AM

How many Cameramen does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but if you just give him another 10 minutes, he could make it look so much nicer.

How many Directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but could we try it a slightly different way this time?

How many Caption Generator operators does it take to change a lightbulb?

On

(For those who have been fortunate enough not to work in the video industry, a Caption Generator was used to produce titles for TV programs. I once worked with a guy who mis-spelt his own name on the end credits of a show)

Alan

--------------------
If God had meant us to run, we'd have been born with spikes in our feet.

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