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Author
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Topic: Humor Risk!!
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Osi Osgood
Film God
Posts: 10204
From: Mountian Home, ID.
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted July 09, 2009 10:31 PM
It's been tense on the forum lately lads, so it's time for some levity!
(and I aint talking yeast! ... think about it, c'mon, that's it, you got it!)
A blonde decides that she wants to go ice fishing.
So, she goes out on the ice and cuts a hole and starts fishing.
Out of nowhere, she hears a voice say ... "There's no fish under the ice!".
This spooks her, so she goes away from there, cuts another hole and starts fishing again yet, once again, she hears a lous ominous voice ....
"There are no fish under the ice!"
The blonde cocks her head to one side, looking up and says ...
"Is that you God?"
The voice says, quite biligerently ....
"No!! It's the skating rink manager!!!"
Ba-da-dump! Tiss!
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"All these moments will be lost in time, just like ... tears, in the rain. "
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Osi Osgood
Film God
Posts: 10204
From: Mountian Home, ID.
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted July 10, 2009 09:40 AM
Your right on that one Joe. Man oh Man, would that be a hell of a find on ebay!
A brunnette is in the middle of the road, walking on the yellow line, repeating, over and over ...
47 ... 47 ... 47 ...
A blonde walks by, sees this and says, "That looks like fun! Can I do that?" The brunnette walks off to the side of the road, sweeping her hand forth, saying, "help yourself!".
So the blonde goes out into the middle of the road ...
"47 ... 47 ... 47 ...
SPLAT! A car runs over her!
The brunette walks out into the middle of the road, looks down ...
Tsk tsk tsk ... 48 ... 48 ... 48 ...
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"All these moments will be lost in time, just like ... tears, in the rain. "
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Osi Osgood
Film God
Posts: 10204
From: Mountian Home, ID.
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted July 11, 2009 08:46 PM
Some parents are having problems with they're very disobedient sons.
They decide to take them to they're local priest, and the priest decides to see each of them separately, leaving the other back at home.
He meets with the younger little boy first. Now, this priest is a firm believer in the belief that God is in everything. He looks across his massive desk at the little boy and asks him ...
"Where is God?"
The little boy looks at him bewildered.
The priest moves his chair over to the side of his desk, a little closer and he asks again ...
"Where is God?"
The boy starts to get a little scared. he looks all around the room.
This time the priest sits right next to the little boy. He points right into the little boys face and says, once again ...
"Where is God?"
This is too much for the little boy, he runs out of the church and right back home. He tugs on his big brothers arm.
"Quick! We gotta run away!"
"What are you talking about?!" asks the big brother.
The little boy cried ...
"The priest says that God is missing and he thinks we took him!"
Ba da dump! Tss!
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"All these moments will be lost in time, just like ... tears, in the rain. "
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Osi Osgood
Film God
Posts: 10204
From: Mountian Home, ID.
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted July 12, 2009 06:13 PM
Haha! Short and sweet!
But I like story jokes ...
There's a rich bar in a high rise. An attractive yet tipsy woman
snuggles up to a handsome fella at the bar and says, "How about buying me a drink?"
The man says, "You have to try this stuff I'm drinking! It'll make you fly!"
"I'll believe that when I see it!"
So the man takes a swig of his drink. He then jumps out the window of the building and flys all the way around the top of the building and flies back in the window.
The woman can't believe her drunken eyes. "Do that again!"
"Certainly", says the man.
He takes another swig of his drink, jumps out the window, and flies all the way around the building again, coming back in the open window.
This is too much for the woman. "Buy me one of those drinks!"
The man buys her the drink. She takes a large swig and jumps out the window. Instantly, she plummets to the ground.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! SPLAT!!
The bartender turns to the man and says ...
"Ya know, sometimes your a real prick Superman!"
Badadump! Tss!
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"All these moments will be lost in time, just like ... tears, in the rain. "
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