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Funny Stuff - Please share jokes/cartoons/puns

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  • In 2029 NASA is preparing to launch a mission to communicate regret over the debris they have left on other worlds.

    It has been designated "Apollo-G".

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    • Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they know they are in love.
      One day they decide that they want to get married,
      so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand.


      Bruce bravely walks up to him and says,
      "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and
      I want to ask you for her hand in marriage."


      Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies,
      "Well
      , Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?"

      Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies,
      "In Jenny's room. It's bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely."


      Mr. Smith says with a huge grin, "Okay, then how will you live?
      You're not old enough to get a job. You'll need to support Jenny."


      Again, Bruce instantly replies. "Our allowance, Jenny makes five
      bucks a week and I make 10 bucks a week.
      That's about 60 bucks
      a month, so that should do us just fine."


      Mr. Smith is impressed Bruce has put so much thought into this.

      "Well , Bruce, it seems like you have everything figured out.
      I just have one more question. What will you do if the two of you
      should have little children of your own?"


      Bruce just shrugs his shoulders and says, "Well, we've been lucky so far."

      Mr. Smith no longer thinks the little shit is adorable.😊
      ​

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      • A young boy went to his father and said...
        "Dad I have been given a part in the school play."
        Dad: "Well that's fantastic. What part have you been given?"
        Boy: "I'm playing the part of a man who has been married 20 years"
        Dad: "Well ok that's a start and if you do well, next time they will give you a speaking part"

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        • So true...

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          • Modern times...

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            • Is this a Canon? Click image for larger version

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              • Do you know the name of the film format with an image size between Super9.5 and Super16?
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                • 16mm. 4:3 with round corners.
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                  Would be the literal answer...

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                  • One of the first videos I made for this channel was my retrospective on the career of Leslie Nielsen. I recently stumbled upon some of the interview clips I used in that video and decided to remaster them for a proper fart machine montage.
                    The Best of Leslie Nielsen Farting on TV

                    ​

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                    • Well now isn't that obvious?

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                      • Which directors do you think will get this award?

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                        • No idea Ed but I remember screening "Pearl Harbor" long ago. We did a sold out private one night, when I bumped into a person I once worked with got and chatting about the airline days and him being promoted to captain with Air New Zealand which was great, anyway he asked what the movie was like?, terrible I replied, some good action scenes on the hour padded out with a crap story. After it was over and as everyone was leaving, he came up to me and said you were right.

                          That was one film that stands out from my past, that in a way I could have left a few reels off and nobody would have been any the wiser, it might have been better, not sure on that one, but the padding to stretch it out in this one was really bad

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                          • Originally posted by Graham Ritchie View Post
                            No idea Ed but I remember screening "Pearl Harbor" long ago. ...
                            That was one film that stands out from my past, that in a way I could have left a few reels off and nobody would have been any the wiser, it might have been better, not sure on that one, but the padding to stretch it out in this one was really bad
                            Scorsese's are arrogantly over-long. Thank God he does not produce Broadway plays! Can you imagine sitting through three acts of something he produced?

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                            • Billy T James was always popular on NZ TV out here, sadly he is no longer with us, I always enjoyed his take on life.

                              enjoy
                               

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                              • Every time I am reading „save the date“, I ask myself why the poor little dates are excluded. Okay, they are not my favorite fruits, too, but they aren’t bad either.

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