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Topic: eBay Oddities (Please post all funny eBay links here!)
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Chip Gelmini
Phenomenal Film Handler
Posts: 1733
From: Brooksville, FL
Registered: Jun 2003
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posted October 27, 2008 09:26 AM
Dear Ebay Seller:
There are many of us who would love to buy your vintage movie equipment, but we don't want to take the risk because of your sloppy descriptions. Therefore, and with all due respect, some things you should know.....
1. If you sell projectors all the time which some of you do, please take a moment and hunt down some film with sound. It's a good idea to test it 100%. Just because the spindles turn without the heavy load of threaded film doesn't mean the belt is tight enough to handle the load when it is. Just because you hear the amplifier click and hiss doesn't mean the head is aligned or good and will play the sound.
2. Projectors are used to show or play "features." And these prints are really expensive and we know your projector won't come with any of these because you don't have any of these anyhow because if you did you'd be testing it properly, right? Thus, please list the things that the projector does as "options." It's a better word and it makes more sense.
3. And besides, anybody interested in buying your projector would already expect and know that the machine should go forward, reverse, rewind, autoload, have a lamphouse, and nice big colorful switches and knobs and other thingamabobs or whatchamacallits.
4. Finally, if you are selling a feature, we expect and assume that you do not have a projector to test the print. How's that for a good guess! So with that said, alot of optical prints were made on Kodak Eastman stock, and are subject to fading. If you don't know, that's where the nice true blues, greens, blacks, purples, and whites, turn pink. It can be also observed as color warming, which turns the colors to a brownish sepiatone, which has nothing to do with the sound, by the way.
5. Also with color fading comes a hideous smell. Somestimes as bad if not worse then the aroma of fresh baked beans with beer hours after having been consumed and partially digested - it';s called vinegar and if you are on a diet you probably eat salad with your meals and yes the odor is the same and whilst it mixes well with iceberg that they served on the Titanic; it does not mix well with acetate or polyester based film prints.
6. So before you go and list your movie product, please make sure you learn about what you are selling. It's not fair to the winning bidder to get a Yugo when they hope they have won a Mercedes. We as bidders of course take that risk, but you as a deadbeat seller are also taking that risk. And don't ask us to ask you questions, because within that product, you should know all the answers, likewise.
Thank you for your time and consideration. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
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