Funny Stuff - Please share jokes/cartoons/puns

[Clyde Miles]

have you heard about the scientist who went into hospital with atomic piles?, he came
out with a nuclear arse.

[Chip Gelmini]

This section goes to show how many comedians there are who collect movies on films! 👍😀

[Chip Gelmini]

That moment when you realize another friend has named his kitten the same as your very own name

[Terry Sills]

Well I'm not saying that educational standards have fallen...but I was talking to a carpenter the other day and he thought a dovetail joint was a place where you kept your pigeons 😩😜😂

[Dominique De Bast]

For our non--European members : try to guess what those gestures mean (British members probably know the answers, although the video it's typically French ; we use the same in Belgium, so I assume it's European) : https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=kV7mKg5-upE

[Melvin England]

Late one night, a man has the bonnet up on his car trying to repair it,
A drunk man staggers up to him and says "What's wrong?"

"Piston broke" the man answered.

"So am I" replied the drunk man.


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I went to the doctors today. I said to him "all these girls keep rushing towards me, no clothes on! I keep pushing them away, but still they keep rushing towards me, no clothes on!"
The doctor asked "What do you want me to do about it?"
I said "Break my arms!"


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"Hello Mrs.Smith. I heard my next door neighbour talking to the women across the road and they said what a big hooter you have! Please may I borrow it for my bike ?"

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"Daddy, me and my friend cut off a glow worms tail today"
" I bet the glow worm didn't like that at all."
"Oh yes he did, in fact he was de-lighted!"

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(If these stinkers have earned me an instant life ban from the forum, then it has been nice knowing you all!!!)
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[Douglas Meltzer]

Melvin,

On the contrary, the only thing better than a really good joke is one that's so bad it's good!

What's the most efficient way to murder a circus?

Go straight for the juggler.

[Mark Mander]

I was driving the other day and got a puncture on one of the tyres, got the jack out and started to raise the car when a complete stranger jumped in the car, I shouted "Oy what do you think your doing!!!" To which he replied, " if your having the wheels then I'm having the stereo""

Mark.

[Chip Gelmini]

Doug

I'll remember that the next time there is drama at Cinesea.

taa boom tish

[Steve Klare]

A patron at a restaurant calls to the waiter:
"Waiter, what IS this?!"
"It's bean soup, sir!"
"I don't care what it's been! What is it NOW?"

[Terry Sills]

This is more like it! Now how about one from JANICE!!
......and by the way Doug - you're banned! That's quite discourteous to Jugglers😜

[Paul Suchy]

[Lee Mannering]

We feel the humour much laughing

[Melvin England]

I was at a posh dinner recently. During the meal I belched really loudly.
One of the men on the table bellowed "How dare you belch before my wife!"
I said "I didn't know it was her turn!"

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A slightly deaf friend of mine could not understand why I kept telling him I had a SUPERB collection.
It was only when he visited my house he realised I had said Super 8 !

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[Terry Sills]

Why are Pirates called Pirates?
'cos they just 'Aaargh'.