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Topic: CHC delivery delay
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Keith Ashfield
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 997
From: U.K.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted December 04, 2009 06:19 AM
HEADLINES -
"AIR STEWARDESS EATEN BY VELOCIRAPTOR ON FLIGHT TO MALPENSA"
It was reported today that an air stewardess was eaten by an animal thought to have been extinct for over 2 million years! The creature, a flesh eating dinosaur from the Jurassic period, is believed to have escaped from a parcel in the cargo hold of the aircraft. The captain of the aircraft, Captain Glenn Miller, said that they had heard a commotion during landing. When they investigated they found only the stewardess's leg in the toilet. The rest of her had disappeared!"
The Captain said - "Something dashed into the cargo hold!"
The Co-pilot said - "Do-you-think-he-saurus?"
Captain - "No, I-betcha-he saurus!"
Co-Pilot - "Do you think it was a dog?"
Captain - "No, that would make it a I-betcha-he saurus Rex!"
The Co-Pilot, Second Officer Buddy Holly, was sent into the cargo hold to investigate and found the source of the problem. It appeared that a parcel, addressed to a gentleman in Verona, contained various extinct creatures. They had eaten their way out of the package and were roaming around the cargo hold. The clever co-pilot managed to entice the creatures back into the box, using the stewardess's remaining leg, as bait.
His comment, on completing the task was,
"I always said that the stewardess was very good at her job - she just couldn't put a foot wrong!"
The parcel was rushed through customs, placed on a FED-EX van for delivery to the 'owner in Verona' (that rhymes doesn't it!).
Our reporter, Dino Sauraus, is reported to have followed the van and found that the parcel was delivered to a film collector named Gian Luca Loncrini. Upon gaining access to the property, by telling Mr.Loncrini's sister that he was a veterinary, who was visiting their sick cat Pepa, our reporter was amazed at what he found, once inside the palatial abode.
He said that the property was inhabited by various creatures ranging from dwarfs, flying elephants, comatose princesses, dragons, various wicked witches and an abundance of talking creatures, including mice and deer.
When questioned by our reporter, Mr. Loncrini said -
"I reely have no idea what you are talking about. I cannot see anything - they must be a figment of your imagination".
Our reporter was convinced that this must be true, as neither Mr.Loncrini, his sister nor their cat, appeared to notice the creatures that appeared to be roaming around their property.
However, our reporter has not been seen since leaving the property.
The Verona Police Department have issued a notice about a grisly discovery of a male leg, and a notebook, in a alley not far from where Dino Saurus was last seen.
The editor of this periodical said,
"If Mr.Saurus ever shows his face in this office again, he will be dismissed on the spot! I will not listen to any excuses, as in my opinion, he does not have a leg to stand on".
It would appear that this is one of the many unsolved crimes that are currently being dealt with by the Verona Police.
A spokesman for the police department said,
"There is something strange in the neighborhood".
When asked who he was going to call he said,
"GHOSTBUSTERS!!!".................
The question on all our readers minds now is -
"Will this statement prompt Mr. Loncrini into another purchase??"
PS - Glad to have helped Gian.
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"We'll find 'em in the end, I promise you. We'll find 'em. Just as sure as a turnin' of the earth".
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Osi Osgood
Film God
Posts: 10204
From: Mountian Home, ID.
Registered: Jul 2005
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posted December 04, 2009 08:36 AM
Aaaah!
The puns just keeping coming! Keep em coming! I still think it's wonderful (and incredible) that you were able to track it down. CHC certainly has egg on they're face, considering that they could have done the same.
It IS possible that timing could have had something to do with it, (the package arriving back just when Keith started his search), but the fact of the matter is that YOU did it!
Now Keith, I have been waiting for a print of a STAR WARS scope feature in stereo, since 2003. I can't even remember the British fellows name, but he got my cash, and I got nothing!
Hows that for a mystery Scooby Doo?
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"All these moments will be lost in time, just like ... tears, in the rain. "
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Keith Ashfield
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 997
From: U.K.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted December 04, 2009 09:11 AM
Yoiks! I am not sure I can help you "Shaggy", or should it be "Daphne"?
Gian's parcel arrived back in the UK sometime the week before last - with nowhere for it to go,it went into the "Parcelforce Holding Tank" (which is probably where your STAR WARS print is hiding).I just rang up and queried the CP Number. This highlighted the "lost parcel". I just gave them CHC's address and contact number and lo and behold, the parcel was back with them on Tuesday, this week.
Arranged collection of parcel on Wednesday from CHC. Received parcel Thursday and despatched it to Italy. Delivered in Verona Friday morning.
It is anyone's guess how long it would have stayed in the "Holding Tank" before, if ever it was found.
Still "all's well that ends well". Gian now has his "menagerie" increased many fold and without a doubt, that makes him a very happy chappy.
[ December 04, 2009, 10:28 AM: Message edited by: Keith Ashfield ]
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"We'll find 'em in the end, I promise you. We'll find 'em. Just as sure as a turnin' of the earth".
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Keith Ashfield
Jedi Master Film Handler
Posts: 997
From: U.K.
Registered: Dec 2006
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posted December 05, 2009 02:36 AM
Gian, my friend, I have been called many things in my life, but "Living Phenomenon"... Well, what can I say to that, other than I'm just glad to be "living".
I find all of your praises quite humbling, but totally unneccesary. It just happened that I made a phone call, at the right time, to the right person. No one was more surprised than I when the parcel came to "light" (I am really glad it did, mind you).
Believe me, if it was within my power to locate all "missing films", then you could consider it done! Alas...........
As for re-arranging the delivery so quickly - again the service that Gian received, via Global Express, was arranged by myself, but paid for by Gian. This is somewhat annoying when you consider the amount that he had already paid and the time taken, from the order date, to the despatch of the film.
The main thing is that Gian now has his film, albeit a lot later than expected, and for that I am very happy indeed.
PS - I would like to say that Mr.Sheard did thank me for "finding the parcel", when I rang to arrange the collection of the film, from him.
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"We'll find 'em in the end, I promise you. We'll find 'em. Just as sure as a turnin' of the earth".
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