Funny Stuff - Please share jokes/cartoons/puns

[Chip Gelmini]

[Richard C. Patchett]

[Stuart Budd]

Because I'm lazy, I usually Google for answers. There are other search engines, I do use DuckDuckGo.com.

So far not funny, but do search for answers to this question.

10 Funniest Jokes Ever Told – for the Joke of the Day

1. (This was ranked #1):

A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: “Ugh, that’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!”
The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming.
She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”
The man says: “You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Now, because of life issues I wasn't sure of the content so read further down. This did make me laugh:

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one – and let the other one off.

[Ed Gordon]

amazing device invented by the germans that can tell the health of each organ in your body by vibration...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49IATcna5gI

[Ed Gordon]

[Steve Klare]

True Story!

Years ago, the Youth Pastor at our church adopted a fundraising idea for youth activities. In the darkness of night, he'd sneak onto the property of some member family and plant about 25 plastic flamingos on their lawn: their friends had put out a contract on them!. This became a racket: for that entire summer reports of flamingoing swept the congregation. Close friends flamingoed us, and we got them back later. You could even pay him protection money: anti-flamingo insurance. Even though Jim almost got arrested when he flamingoed a member family living in a gated community, it was very successful!

Where this dips into comedy was that one morning, the morning of the day their flamingos were supposed to be reclaimed for yet another victim: our friend Lisa looked out her front window and found every last one had flown the coop!

Imagine yourself on the receiving-end of this phone call:

"I need 25 lawn flamingoes for overnight delivery! It's an EMERGENCY!"

So the moral of the story is if someday you are offered flamingo insurance, it may not be as ridiculous as it sounds!
.

[Chip Gelmini]

[Graham Ritchie]

Scottish humour .

[Chip Gelmini]

So how is winter this year? It's not bad, is it? (Thanks to Gregory May for a similar post on Meta-advertising-book)

[Chip Gelmini]

[Chip Gelmini]

Breaking news

energizer bunny arrested

charged with battery

film @ 11.........

[Ed Gordon]

[Richard C. Patchett]

You can have your ex’s name written on the bottom of a litter box for Valentine’s Day

[Ed Gordon]

[Chip Gelmini]